Connections Count - One Family's Story continued

Pam's Family

Friends reached out to help and it was suggested that we talk with the Ronald McDonald House to see if we could stay there as a way to ease the wear and tear on my body.

It didn't seem like much at first. They gave us a room and we didn't have to commute.  Pretty practical. I liked that. We needed to learn the routine at the NICU and establish some kind of visitation schedule. All I knew was that I wanted to be at his side as much as possible so he would know me.  Being there to love on my new baby was the second most important concern. The first couple days were pretty rough. Sitting caused my feet to swell and my incision to throb. I was in pain, but I didn't really feel it. I was exhausted, but had to muster all available energy to adapt to this foreign surrounding and be the mom I needed to be for my son.

If you've never been inside a neonatal ICU as a parent, it's quite a place. Lights blinking, equipment beeping and row after row of cribs or isolettes with babies covered in wires, tubes and gauze. Sitting next the cribs are worried parents. Flurrying all around are nurses tending to all of the above on a regimented schedule. The chairs are uncomfortable. The room has a constant faint smell of antimicrobial soap. And the surrounding energy is uncomfortably disrupted with unspoken fears.

By the end of our third day, we came to depend upon the shuttle driver because he would take us to our comfort zone known as the East House. There in the rear living room, just past the dining hall, was a couch just right for stretching out and elevating swollen legs. Most times this homey living room was occupied by only me and my husband. We could flip on the news or call relatives to catch them up. More importantly, we could shed the stress of our last session at the NICU and recharge for the next one.  It was our much-needed retreat, giving us some sense of normalcy during a chaotic time.  We also came to appreciate the hot evening meals and smiling faces of the volunteers who served them.

It's awkward to talk about a sick child to strangers. The volunteers seemed to know that. There was no prying. Only genuine caring, love, prayer and loads of understanding smiles.  When I think back, I am reminded of Jesus' call to serve others and almost four years later can remember exactly how I felt being served a warm meal by a total stranger who would never see me again. Humbled and grateful. Also somewhat in awe that so many church groups or volunteer organizations would haul a bunch of food to St. Pete on a weeknight, cook it, dish it out and clean up. I'm sorry I never got a chance to personally thank each volunteer who served us during our two weeks. What I can say now is that it made a monumental difference to a set of new parents who were living in a whirlwind of uncertainty with no family in town. Just us facing each day as it came.  And so this quiet, gentle support meant more than words can say.

We got a gift on Valentine's Day. In fact, we got gifts on other days too. It truly represents the saying, "It's the thought that counts," because it wasn't really the stuffed toy that touched my heart, but the fact that members of my community were reaching out to brighten my day. They didn't know exactly what we were going through and they never knew our names. Yet someone knew the house was filled with families who could use a little cheer and kindness and for that we say "thank you." Is the Ronald McDonald House a practical solution? Yes. But it is oh so much more than a bedroom near the hospital. The walls may make it a house, but it's the people who make it a home away from home -- with heart.

So here we are today. Our little boy is our pride and joy and is doing great. Our lives have moved on, but we have never forgotten those weeks of uncertainty and the acts of kindness that will always be associated with that time.  Ronald McDonald House holds a special place in our hearts and so it was an easy answer when Cadillac asked me what charity I wanted to work for. As an editor and the blogger for Tampa Bay ParentGuide, I was selected to test drive their new SRX for a week and blog about it.  (Very nice vehicle by the way.) They had eight women driving and blogging and we were competing for hits to our individual blog page. The driver/blogger with the most hits at the end of the week would win $500 for her favorite charity. It was a smart social marketing promotion and so as a marketing person myself, was intrigued by the game and inspired by the chance to give a little back to RMH.

I used a number of strategies to get people to my link. By the fourth day, six of us were within 100 hits from winning. That was when I called Allison at RMH-TB. She jumped into action, got emails out to staff and volunteers, and placed the link on her Facebook page. I went to the national RMHC Facebook page and put the link there. I even sent it to a friend in Wisconsin with ties to the Madison RMH and they jumped at the chance to help a fellow house. All efforts combined, my hits soared and I won by a landslide.

Interesting how social marketing is making it possible to reach people about causes and issues. Our life connections can be enhanced by our technological connections, and no more do we need to feel voiceless. All it takes is a purpose, a drive to see something get done and a passion that can be shared with others.  Put it out there and watch it spread.  Consider that my little six day experiment got my story on the Cadillac blog page seen by over a thousand readers and the RMH name out to thousands more on Facebook.  It was fascinating and fun to see how truly connected we are and how our connections can count for something good! 

Driving the car was a luxurious treat, but it reminded me that no material possession is worth the time I spend with my precious son. Could I work more to afford luxury?  Sure, but at the cost of time I will never get back. All I have to do is think back to the time in the NICU when we wondered how the future would unfold to remember how incredibly blessed we are.  Maybe someday we'll splurge on luxury, but for now, I'm content with my paid off minivan and my time as mommy. I worked hard to get here.

Submitted by Pamela Ray
Click to visit her blog at Tampa Bay ParentGuide